Mwanaume ni kujikaza! Really? Let’s demystify this myth

By Juliet Anyango

A common mantra among the Kenyan man is ‘mwanaume ni kujikaza’, which bars them from talking about their mental health, and any attempt comes out as a sign of weakness.

Thinking about it, ‘ukijikaza kisabuni, utateleza vivyo hivyo.’ In short, mental wellness is crucial for everyone, men included. You cannot afford not to invest in your wellness.

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that among 264 million people with depression globally, men are the least likely to seek help, which sadly results in a significant number opting out through suicide. Closer home, data from the Ministry of Health shows that suicide rates are higher in men than in women.

For the Kenyan man, economic pressure and cultural expectations such as the obligation to be the provider add to the man’s burden.

Mental health stakeholders look on and applaud during the launch of the Nairobi County Mental Health Strategic Action Plan 2025 – 2030 on June 13, 2025, which is meant to give strategic direction informing investment and deliberate actions towards enhancing quality mental health service provision in the County. Photo by Nairobi City County

Everyone needs to understand that mental health struggles are not a weakness; addressing them protects you, your family, and the community. Therefore, creating a comfortable and safe space for men is the first step in addressing men’s mental health.

Common mental health challenges and how to seek help

Data indicates that a significant number of men experience depression, anxiety and trauma which leads many to fall into addiction to drugs and substance use. This slowly starts as an escape from the daily struggles, gradually growing into a habit, and, without notice, turns into a full-blown addiction.

Stigma keeps men isolated. This takes the form of judgment, looks of contempt and social isolation.

It is important to know that help is available. It starts with talking to someone. It can be someone you trust such as friends and family or even a counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist.

Some of these services are free of charge. For instance, there are toll free helplines such as 1190 by One2One Kenya and 1199 by Kenya Red Cross which have psychologists and counsellors ready to give a non-judgmental ear.

There are also organizations such as Basic Needs Basic Rights (BNBR) Kenya that support community mental health outreach as well as workplace mental health programs in various parts of Kenya. One of the key approaches by BNBR is working with persons with lived experience of mental health conditions to share their success stories of triumph which go a long way in demonstrating that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, however dark the tunnel may be.

Practical tips for self-care and building resilience

Taking care of yourself opens up room for better mental wellness. Here are a few tips:

Talk Often: Normalize sharing your feelings with a friend or family member. Consider joining a support group where you share your stories. Speaking out lightens the load.
Manage Stress: Develop stress management techniques. Take breaks when feeling overwhelmed and take deep breaths throughout the day to relax. Make time for things you enjoy. Use your weekends to pursue hobbies that relax you. Avoid alcohol or drugs to cope, as they only make the burden heavier.
Set Goals: Break your tasks into small, achievable goals. This makes you see your progress and allows you to celebrate small steps and wins. Remember that treating yourself with kindness is showing up for yourself and not being selfish.

Consistently practicing these helps improve mood.

Do not suffer alone, your mental wellness matters.